Simps, when it's observations on The Archies or 1910 Fruitgum Company that I want I'll ask you first.  Until then, you don't know what you're talking about. 

An illustrious critic from Queens, 
Of music for pimple faced-tweens,
On Bartok waxed petulant,
Or rather spoke flatulence,
As wise as a pig fed soy beans.