I'm Asked What I Think Of The Plan To Make A Remake Of West Side Story To Which I Can Only Ask Why?

AS ONE GAY MAN who hates musicals, I have to ask that.  With the fewest of exceptions, it's 3rd rate music at service to 9th rate books and productions that are generally a vulgar parody of opera. Which doesn't need any lessons in vulgarity from even more popular entertainment.  Just about the only music from musicals that's any good does better outside of the play than in it.  The only song from West Side Story I can tolerate is "Something's Coming" though I heard Sondheim said the only song from it he considered good was The Jet's Song.  He'd know, he was the most competent of the guys involved with that thing.

Instead of reviving that stupid musical, a bunch of upper-middle-class and richer white gay men drooling over Puerto Rican and Italian rough trade gang members, I'd much rather see someone adapt Titus  Andronicus to comment on the Trump era, if for nothing more than I'd like to see Don jr. and Eric baked into a pie and served to Trump and their mother, it wouldn't work with Melania because she'd probably down it without her frozen models' face cracking.   Bet she'd take a second bite after she found out.  She would make a good Queen of the Goths, I mean, her blood Christmas decor would be a killer set motif.  And Trump and his Queen get killed in the end.  Brutally.  I could watch that.  But who to fit into the Titus role?  James Comey?  Too sanctimonious.  Mattis?   Clearly the concept needs work. It could make a fun game, who's who for Trump Us Un Donny Us, or something.  If you like that kind of thing.  If you make it a stupid musical you don't have to fit everyone into the plot, everything in musicals is simplified and dumbed down, anyway. 

I do think the extreme decadence of that, often considered the worst play in that corpus,  is more relevant to our situation today than that stupid post-war R&J adaptation.  I'd hire Randy Rainbow to write the lyrics.  I'd be really careful about who you got to do the music and book.  Look at what a mess they made with Candide.  Titus isn't as bad a play as Pericles which I don't think should be included, that thing is a piece of shit. 

Update:  Simps isn't just post-literate, he's post-illiterate.