Late Hate - I Challenge You To Read A Whole Book Of His Short Stuff Without Skimming While Pretending It's Hillarious

I took the time to see if I could find what Jorge Luis Borges said about the ending of Huckleberry Finn.  This isn't what I recalled reading in a different interview (I recall reading it in the Boston Globe) but it is interesting and true.

BORGES
Look here, I’m talking to an American: There’s a book I must speak about—nothing unexpected about it—that book is Huckleberry Finn. I thoroughly dislike Tom Sawyer. I think that Tom Sawyer spoils the last chapters of Huckleberry Finn. All those silly jokes. They are all pointless jokes; but I suppose Mark Twain thought it was his duty to be funny even when he wasn’t in the mood. The jokes had to be worked in somehow. According to what George Moore said, the English always thought: “Better a bad joke than no joke.”

[I'll break in to say that would seem to be Simp's philosophy of writing, except his jokes are used bad jokes.  A Xerox machine is as original and has a better chance of repeating better jokes. But only if it's not Simps choosing what to feed into it.]

I think that Mark Twain was one of the really great writers, but I think he was rather unaware of the fact. But perhaps in order to write a really great book, you must be rather unaware of the fact.

Much, if not most of Huckleberry Finn is great, the ending falls through.   The parts with Tom Sawyer are probably the worst parts of it, though the plot twists at the end are really bad.  I think he got to the end of the river and he knew he had to do something and he couldn't figure out what to do.  I'd have them hire onto a boat to South America.  He could have done a sequel to it.  Maybe he should have asked himself what Melville would have done.

I do agree that Mark Twain could be a great writer, but his published work is uneven.  Try reading through his complete works and I'll bet you will be skimming not far into it and you'll resort to skimming until you're relieved to reach the end of it.  A lot of it is just not very good, he wrote a lot of forgettable stuff, especially short pieces he certainly wrote for the money. He definitely could have used some editing advice in just about every book.

If the Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County hadn't already been written by the famous Mark Twain, if it were submitted to any publisher or magazine, today, as written, it wouldn't get published.  If it were submitted for criticism by any competent writing teacher, they would tear it to shreds in editing it. And it's far from his worst piece.  Lots of the worst ones are a lot longer and no one really reads them.  I challenge Simps and the Eschatots to read through "The Man That Corrupted Hadleyburg And Other Stories And Essays" without resorting to skimming.  They can't even get through one of poor Duncan's little attempts at writing, he having given up when they wouldn't read his longer pieces - some of which were, actually, pretty good.   If any of them claims they read every word, with attention, I'll sentence them to reading "My First Lie And How I Got Out Of It" aloud while pretending they really think it's funny or amusing or in any way droll.  I'm sure it can be done, the French did it with Jerry Lewis for decades.

I still think "Life on the Mississippi" is his deepest, greatest and best book.  I can say that every time I've read it, it holds my attention like most of his other books don't.  I'd put Huckleberry Finn second. The fall off starts after those two, though many of them have some really funny passages and some very good writing, just not a whole books worth.   I do think the short piece "Fenimore Cooper's Literary Offenses" is good and funny and and spot on as criticism, if sometimes quite unfair, though there is a lot in it that becomes quite ironic when considering a huge part of Twain's own output. Take #9.

They [the rules of good writing] require that the personages of a tale shall confine themselves to possibilities and let miracles alone; or, if they venture a miracle, the author must so plausibly set it forth as to make it look possible and reasonable. But these rules are not respected in the Deerslayer tale.

Measure the ending of Huck Finn to that rule.  And not just Huck Finn but most of his other novels, especially The Prince and the Pauper.   And measure practically the entire Hadleyburg volume and a lot of his other humor pieces, especially those employing his tall-tale style against #14,

Eschew surplusage.

If you really want to cringe, go to the Hadleyburg volume and read "The Esquimaux Maiden's Romance".    And, if you don't have the heart to go on, believe me, there is as bad if not worse.